In Penza, an apparition of Seraphim of Sarov occurred: he cured a sick woman who only recognized him in the church by looking at his icon!

- An old man came to me. His hair was blond and gray, his eyes were blue-blue. He stretched out his hand, placed it on my head, an indescribable warmth came out of his hand and I woke up.

I felt light and so happy in my soul that I didn't open my eyes.
At the end of January or February 1992, a seriously ill woman was admitted to ward 4 of municipal hospital no. 3 for in-patient treatment.

She was placed in a double room on the 2nd floor. She was laid on a stretcher. The chief physician and other doctors were very concerned about her condition.

The patient was our hospital's chief accountant, but at the time I didn't know her, as municipal hospital no. 4 (where I worked) and municipal hospital no. 3 were merged on 02.01.1992.

I was working as a checkroom attendant.

Two days later, the patient's condition hadn't improved. Knowing that the patient was ill, I entered the room with the thought of God's help.
On the left lay the patient Alevtina Grigorievna Kataeva. I greeted her and asked her not to worry, but to listen to what I had to say.

She said, “I'm dying.”
- Alevtina Grigorievna, what is impossible for people is possible for God. Let's turn to the saints for help if you believe in God,” I said.
She replied that she wasn't an opponent of God, but that she rarely went to church, only to the funeral service.

I advised her to calm down, to think about life, not death, to ask the saints for healing.
- And which saints should we turn to? she asked.
“Let's turn to St. Sergius of Radonezh and St. Seraphim of Sarov,” was my reply.
“What should I call the second, I remember the name, and then?” asked the sick woman.
“Saint Seraphim of Sarov”, I replied.

Two days later, at 7 a.m., I arrived in the ward, the patient was crying, saying that she was going to die because her bed had been raised and lowered during the night and that this had to remain a secret between us, otherwise people would think badly of her.

- Did you pray?
- I asked: “Yes,” was the answer.

I advised her not to cry, I told her that her prayer had been heard, that she had received a sign of healing and that, to rise to God, she had to live, pray and go to church.

This thought had suddenly crossed my mind.
It became our secret. Two days later, Alevtina Grigorievna told me that Ludmila knew our secret, because she had seen how the bed went up and down - Alevtina Grigorievna's bed and hers too. Thus, our secret was revealed.

“It's all right, you're both fine, just pray, goodbye,” I said and left.
Three days passed, I arrived at the ward in the morning, saw a wonder: Alevtina Grigorievna was sitting, smiling, alternately raising her arms and legs and saying:

“Raissa Ivanovna, tonight I've been healed by a good old man!”
She said that in a colorful dream, an old man was walking towards her on the beautiful, silky green grass. He approached, looked into her eyes with the question, “What, are you sick with?”

His hair was blond and gray, his eyes blue-blue. He reached out his hand, placed it on her head, an indescribable warmth came from his hand, and she awoke. She felt so light and happy in her soul
her soul that she didn't open her eyes.

Then he ran his hand over her whole body. As he caressed her, warmth spread through her body and lightness overcame her, she felt that someone was standing beside her, helping her.

But she didn't open her eyes. Then he turned and walked to the door, opened it and walked away.

I advised him to lie down, in case the doctor on duty came in, and asked, “What clothes was your healer wearing?”
“All in white,” was the reply.

I told Alevtina Grigorievna about the saint, that he was apparently Father Seraphim of Sarov, and when she visited the churches after being cured, she would certainly recognize her savior on
his icon.

As time passed, I met Alevtina Grigorievna at the Assumption Cathedral Church in Penza.

She walked all in black, with roses, with a funeral procession. They were burying, it seemed, a relative of her husband.

We greeted each other, she said that in the church she had recognized her healer on the icon, that she would come to the hospital and say that it was he who had visited her.

Then I saw her at the hospital, where she was admitted on the advice of the doctors.

She was waiting in the corridor in the morning and came down to say she'd been to church and recognized her healer on the icon of St. Seraphim of Sarov.

"Now go to the churches, say prayers, to him, your healer," I replied.

With love for all,

Thank God for everything!

Raisa.

" Lord I know You're talking to me, but I can't hear You! Why is my soul deaf to Your voice? "

This is the dilemma that tortures those who sense Christ's call but dare not say "yes" for fear of making a mistake.

All those who have answered "yes" to the Lord's call have gone through this painful, torturous stage.

The call to priesthood or monastic commitment is not a "matter" to be taken lightly. It's a serious matter!

The road, once we've accepted His request, is long and difficult, strewn with a thousand pitfalls, not the least of which are those linked to our "ego".

After all, don't we confuse a deep call with a personal desire?

Often it is.

Perhaps it's even a response to the sacred call that is quickly supplanted by profane desire, the one aroused by pride.

It's a tragedy.

Many are happy to become priests, but this happiness is diluted by the flood of egotistical desires: the wearing of the cassock, which gives a kind of "elitist" personalization in society (which is vain and false), the wearing of priestly vestments and the practice of rites, which places one "above the crowd" (which is totally contrary to the faith and very unjust).....

We're struggling in a world of illusions that we hold to be true, to be reality.

Responding to the sacred call when you've understood its meaning, perhaps after years of trial and error, is quite the opposite.

The monk, nun, priest or deacon, while serving others, enters into himself or herself and constantly listens to the Lord and obeys His precepts.

He or she becomes a shepherd and bearer of hope, a model, a beacon, not through pomp or authority, but through kindness, a sense of service and duty, and commitment ....

Saint Seraphim of Sarov spoke to the monk Timon and said:
" Keep sowing, Father Timon, sow wheat everywhere and always. Sow it on good soil, sow it in the sand, on the rock, along the path, and among the thorns.

There's always hope that some seed will take root, grow, bear fruit, even if it takes time. Don't bury the talent you've been given, but put it to good use. "(translated by Claude Lopez-Ginisty)

Answering Christ's call requires humility, patience, reflection, discernment - above all, discernment, for without this quality, how can a priest become a just confessor?